Got my first request for a full this week. Yippee! I was so excited I spilled my coffee, then called my hubby, then spilled some more coffee. (Luckily, said spills were in no way near my computer.) I was waiting on feedback on my first few chapters so I decided to wait until I got the feedback to send CODE to the agent. I knew that wait would only be a day.
The feedback was positive-- looks like I've got a good grip on voice and POV, and all my reviewers loved my story. I didn't have to change a thing!
Still, for completeness, I decided to read through the entire manuscript again. I found a few things to change, but not much. Good, right?
So why was I paralyzed when it came time to send my novel? I was so excited that I literally could not push send. I was so afraid that I was about to make a mistake. Not with the agent-- don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled to be represented by him! I was just afraid that my novel wasn't the best it could be. I've worked so hard, so long on it. I know I'll keep working on it until the day my agent and editor tell me to stop. But I also know it's ready. So why the fear?
I think it's just fear of the unknown. This felt so real. Someone, a complete stranger, wants to read something that I wrote. He wants to see if it's something he wants to represent. How awesome is that?
My hubby finally talked me into pushing "send." I did it and felt instant relief. Now all I have to do is wait for the agent to respond. I'm getting pretty good at waiting. In the meantime, I'm off to work on my next work-in-progress-- MERCY.