Thursday, June 9, 2011

Forgot to post my new, improved first page!

Thanks to everyone for their comments.  This is the first page I entered in the contest:

     The woman lay naked on the old barn door, arms tied out from her tiny body, making her look like she was being crucified.  Her long blonde hair coiled under her head, which was taped down to the rough, splintered boards beneath her.  A tube snaked into her lungs and fogged with each breath.  She struggled with her bonds.  Spotlights had been hung in the corners, and the beams focused on the woman.
            Her scrubs were piled in the corner, white coat crumpled on top.  A young man bent over the coat and pulled off a pin.  The diamonds that created a shape of a bone sparkled in the bright light of the barn.
            He pocketed the pin and went over to a box in another corner of the structure.  He pulled out a brown bottle and a scalpel.  He placed a surgical mask over his mouth and nose and walked over to the woman.  She screamed against the tube in her throat.  No sound emerged.
            He stood to her left side.  She squinted in the bright light shining down on her.  He opened up the brown bottle and poured the liquid onto the woman’s left side.  The woman’s breast and chest were stained amber under the solution.  He reclosed the bottle and set it aside.  Hoisting the scalpel, he examined the blade.  The woman squeezed her eyes shut.

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