So my lovely minivan got crunched yesterday by a beverage truck. The front end is smashed, the car is not drivable, so I spent a good portion of my afternoon in a tow truck. Luckily it wasn't a hit and run, so I have the other driver's info, and hopefully I won't have to pay a deductible. Said beverage truck hit my parked car while I was inside a building at an appointment. I wasn't even in the car. Couldn't be my fault, right? Well, you'd think so, but the driver's insurance is likely going to contest my claim. Wonderful. And it wasn't even a Budweiser truck. At least that would have given it better story value.
Then I called to get a rental car. It could be several weeks before my mom-mobile is fixed, so I need a car. You'd think a rental car agency would have cars. But again, you'd be wrong. No cars, no vans, not even a scooter. So I had to wait until this morning to get a car.
It gets better.
My choices this morning? A smart car or a hearse. Now, the smart car would have been OK, except that I need to put two booster seats in it. And you can't put a kid in a booster seat in the front seat or a hatchback.
The hearse it is.
Now, it's a perfectly functional car. I'm not going to put the type, just 'cause I don't want to get sued, but it's black, it's long, and it looks like I'm transporting corpses. It uses flexfuel, so at least I'll get good gas mileage while towing the dead. Bad enough that I don't have a garage door opener and won't be able to put it inside. No, this hearse will be waiting outside my house for everyone to see.
Even better? I work in a hospital. In an ER. This car will be parked outside of said ER. What kind of message does that send? "If we don't make you better, hey, at least the funeral home journey will be quick!" or "Bring out your dead!"
Monty Python's got nothin' on me.